“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
.
Neither is Pun Day.
Another selection of wonderful word play for you to….
Enjoy or endure!
.
.
Sometimes pregnancy lasts so long
it seems like a maternity.
.
.
How many nihilists does it take
to sharpen a pencil?
One, but there’s still no point.
.
.
I dropped my barometer earlier.
Just couldn’t handle the pressure.
.
.
What do you call a man
with three balls?
…a juggler.
.
.
Uncle Ben found dead.
No more Mr Rice guy.
.
.
I just invented a joke about helium.
Unfortunately it doesn’t go down well.
.
.
You know that you’re getting old
when your narrow waist swaps
places with your broad mind.
.
.
Apparently a truck carrying boxes of wigs has overturned,
spilling its load across the freeway.
Police are combing the area.
.
.
I saw a woman crying as she
was buying tampons earlier.
Must be going through a
tough period in her life.
.
.
This man was about to throw dough,
cheese and tomatoes at me.
I said, “You wanna pizza me?”
.
.
Looking after my kid is
proving to be expensive.
I’ve just had to buy a baby monitor,
for crying out loud.
.
.
The hospital told me there is a problem
with my son’s blood and he should have
a plasma screen as soon as possible.
They were going to charge me $10,000,
but I managed to buy him a 50″ HDTV
in WalMart for less than a grand.
.
.
Now I hear that the NSA are employing
dwarfs to break into people’s homes
and install listening devices.
The little buggers.
.
.
What happens if you swallow uranium?
You get atomic ache.
.
.
What do you call a Scottish lady who comes round
and decorates your bathroom?
Bonnie Tiler.
.
.
=====================================
.
Filed under: comedy, Humour, Language, Puns Tagged: a man with three balls, ache, amusing, atomic, baby monitor, bad jokes, barometer, bathroom, blood, Bonnie Tiler, boxes, broad mind, buggers, cheese, combing the area, Comedy, couldn't handle the pressure, decorates, dough, dwarfs, employing, Entertainment, expensive, for crying out loud, freeway, funny, getting old, HDTV, helium, hospital, Humor, Humour, joke, jokes, juggler, kid, listening devices, maternity, Mr Rice guy, nails, narrow waist, nihilists, no point, NSA, pizza, plasma screen, police, pregnancy, pun, pun day, puns, Scottish lady, Screw With, sharpen a pencil, silly jokes, stupid, tampons, tomatoes, tough period, truck, Uncle Ben, uranium, Walmart, wigs, woman crying, wonderful word play, word play, word plays